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This super-duper animated rappity-rap video is literally over three years in the making & gives you a handy list of all the AMAZING things Jesus can do!
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Huge thanks to all the animators who helped make this happen! Bryan Shickley, Sprybug, Soap Is People, Pop-Squad, Top Hats n' Champagne & the amazing DarkMatter2525!
Lyrics:
Yo here’s a bunch of things that Jesus can do
He can turn in to me, he can turn in to you,
HE can get you front row seats to Motley Crew
He can turn Mohammed into a Jew
He could do backflips on da crucifix,
Kill a whole army with just one brick,
wins all the money and gets all the chicks
and If he was gay he’d suck a great dick,
Phones never busy when he makes a call
make better spinoff dan Better Call Saul
He can be really cool or act like a jerk
and he can tell you all about how magnets work
He can walk on the water and breakdance too
Even make a vegan eat a tasty beef stew
He can tell you lies dat are totally true
These are all things that Jesus can do
CHORUS:
He can do Godzilla doggy style
organize a crowd into a single file
be a one man band and an orchestra too
These are all things that Jesus can do
murder Superman with just one smack
outlaw marijuana and legalize crack
start a shoe store with just one shoe
These are all things that Jesus can do
He could heal all the lepers with his Godly heart,
then poke ‘em with a stick n’ watch ‘em fall apart
He can do enough drugs to kill a horse
And then murder Yoda and drain his force
He can kill you just to give you eternal life,
then kill you again with a kitchen knife,
He can beat Einstein in a battle of wits
and if he was a stripper he’d have great tits
He can turn barbecue into applesauce
Reunite the whole cast of Who’s The Boss
He’s better for your teeth than dental floss
Take you sailing and a wailing like Christopher Cross
He’ll always give you just what cha’ want
then reach right ova and punch you in the cunt
Change Coca Cola into Mountain Dew
These are all things that Jesus can do
CHORUS
He toss you in the fiery abyss turn an MRA into a feminist
He’ll win the debate against Bill Nye
And three hours later he’ll get him real high
He can go for a jog while he’s got the flu
He can come in piece or wreck your whole crew
He can be less filling and taste great too, these are all things that Jesus Can do
CHORUS
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